I am an honest person. There really is no need to lie. I always end up getting caught because I am not good at it. Most of the nonsense I tell my students I make up. I like to push the envelop and see what they believe. Sadly, they believe almost everything they are told. Unless something sounds really outlandish they believe it. Some lies I have heard or told recently:
*When the Zumba instructor tells the class there is no right or wrong way to “Zumba”, she is lying. There is. If you are on the wrong foot, you’re wrong. If you happen to be wearing day-glo clothes while the black light is on, it’s even worse.
*When my husband says to me, “It’s ok.” Then he has to back track and correct whatever action I have done, usually it is mowing the grass. It’s not ok. He now has to work twice as hard to fix something I have done. Nice job, one who can’t mow.
*Whenever a friend asks me, “When would you like to meet?” I always say, “Whenever is good for you.” Chances are I really mean it, but there are some times I find myself thinking, how about midnight tomorrow? What, you can only meet during normal business hours? I really enjoy those friends who say they can meet on a particular day and then suddenly they are busy. Really, you forgot your aunt, uncle, cousin, mother was coming to visit?
*School will be starting soon. I will find myself staring at students who don’t care about the knowledge that I have to present to them. What will I do? What would you do? I lie. Oh yes, I lie. Things fly out of my mouth so fast I can hardly believe I am saying them. I actually believe what I am saying.
-“Can I have a pencil?” “Nope, I don’t have any” as I stare at a box full of sharpened pencils. Maybe they are really not there.
-“Can I go to_______?” “Nope, it’s closed.”
-“Are you gonna call my house?” “Nope my phone has been disconnected.” Sadly many of the students I teach (or try to) have had their phone disconnected. Another personal favorite is when the voice mailbox is full. They can relate when I tell them why I can’t call.
-“Are you mad at me?” “Nope I really enjoy when you compelely disrespect me and ignore anything I try to tell you.” Oh wait, you’re a teenager, that’s your job.
-“Why are you so mean?” “It’s in my job description.” If you wanna know anything else ask my lawyer.
-“Why do we have to cover our books?” “It’s the law.” I have never seen a 6th grader cover a book faster.