Gym, pups, and other interesting tid bits

Showdown August 3, 2012

Filed under: Uncategorized — cgg111 @ 1:14 pm

It was a hot June day. We had just started out on our walk. Emma was actually acting right for once. The sun was just starting to set and the woman praised us for “being good dogs.” Times like these are rare so I live it up. I stop to pee and don’t get yanked. Emma doesn’t stop and sniff every blade of grass we pass. There are not that many trucks that pass us today. Things really look like they are going our way. I should have known it was a little too good to be true.

About half way down our path I start to smell something so delicious, so yummy I start dragging the woman. The woman yells at me to stop but I can’t. I must see what this treat is. Just a little further. I can see something but Emma gets distracted by a leaf in the grass slowly me down. At the clearing I finally see crabs and fish heads. JACKPOT! YES! I must dive in now! I am so distracted by the sight of my next bounty what I don’t see are the five vultures staring us down. Perhaps this is why the woman wanted me to stop pulling her across the road.

“What do you think you’re doing, “asks vulture #1. He is clearly the oldest and the meanest judging from the missing feathers.
I think he is also missing an eye either that or he’s squinting.
“Oh look two little pretty puppies out with their human,” mocks vulture #2.
“Awwww too bad you’re on those leashes. We could have some real fun,” says vulture #3.
“We were here first, dog,” says vulture #4.
“We’ll fight you for them,” says vulture #5.
“Emma, we are going to have to work together if we are going to get those treats and avoid being treats ourselves.”
Emma, staring at a cardinal in a nearby tree, is just now beginning to smell the treats hidden in the brush. “Hey, Bella do you smell something good?” She appears to be completely unaware that five vultures are standing in their path.
“Seriously why don’t you pay more attention?”
“I smell something really good. I think we should go check it out!”
“EARTH TO EMMA! Don’t you see those vultures! They want those treats as much as we do! I am going to need your help. We are not backing down, got it!? We don’t want to end up bird food.”
“Oh ok. What do you want me to do?”
“I need you to distract the vultures. I want you to make them think you are hurt so they come your way, and then I will get the treats for us.”
“Ok I think I got it.”
Emma starts limping. “OHHHHHH my paw! I think the end is near!”
“Geeze, a little dramatic aren’t we,” says vulture #1 in a menacing voice.
“I hurt myself back there on a rock. I don’t think I can go on.”
“Well I think we can help you,” snarls vulture #2 as they both get closer to Emma.
Of course the woman starts panicking thinking there is something really wrong with her, and is getting more and more anxious as the birds get a little too close to Emma.
“Feelin’ lucky, dog,” questions vulture #3.
“Wanna play a little game” inquires vulture #4.
“I just wanna eat it,” snaps vulture #5.
At this point Emma starts to get a little worried. She is clearly outnumbered.
Bella is straining the leash to get closer to the loot in the bushes.
The woman plants her heels so we cannot get any closer.
“I love dogs,” vulture #5 says eyeing up Emma ready to strike.
Bella, overhearing the conversation, turns and faces the vultures.
She starts growling, a low mean growl that she usually saves for the neighbor’s cats. She bares her teeth, and the woman praises her. “Good dog, Bella!”
“UH I don’t think I wanna play any more,” whimpers vulture #4.
“Yeah I think I hear my wife calling,” whispers vulture #3.
“Suddenly I am not hungry,” says vulture 5.
They take off flying away from us. Only two left!
“Looks like it’s just the two of us,” snarls vulture #1.
“Good because now I am hungry,” says vulture #2.
“Hey,” says Emma, “I think I see a deer over in the field.”
“Where,’ asks vulture #2.
“Way over there. Oh look it’s with its family. I think one of them is hurt,” says Emma.
Bella cannot believe what she is hearing. Is Emma really going to save the day?
“I’m gonna go check it out,” says vulture #2.
He flies off leaving his buddy to face off with the dogs.
Bella and Emma cannot believe how easy it was to get rid of the first four, but they know this last one is going to be much harder.
“Well it looks like it is just me and the two of you,” hisses the remaining vulture.
Bella and Emma look at each other and nod. They know what to do. Both of them instantly start foaming at their mouths.
“EWWWW, what’s wrong with you two,” asks vulture #1.
“Rabies,” says Bella.
“Well I’m getting outta here,” screeches vulture #1. He takes off flying high above the trees.

Suddenly I am flailing through the air by my leash and being smothered by hugs and kisses from the woman. Emma is being dragged over to the woman.
She squeezes her tight. Get off me, I just want the treats in the bushes!
Emma’s licking the woman and I am prayin’ that a truck doesn’t smash us to bits.


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